to the tune of "Winter Wonderland" . . .

Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
I'm happy although
My boss let me go
Happily addicted to the Web!

All night long, I sit clicking,
Unaware time is ticking,
There's beard on my cheek,
Same clothes for a week,
Happily addicted to the Web!

Friends come by they shake me,

Saying, "Yo, man!

Don't you know tonight's

the senior prom?"

With a listless shrug, I mutter,
"No, man I just discovered
letterman-dot-com!"

I don't phone, don't send faxes,
Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
Who cares if someday
They drag me away?
I'm happily addicted to the Web!