The following are real school excuses, explaining the reason behind the absence of students. Enjoy! :-)
 
12. Please excuse my son for being absent yesterday, because there is a river in our house.
 
11. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
 
10. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
 
9. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
 
8. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
 
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
 
6. Chris will not be in shcool cus he has an acre in his side.
 
5. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
 
4. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrheea and his boots leak.
 
3. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we fouind it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
 
2. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
 
and last but not least...
 
1. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot!